he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
