My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize