You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
