I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
