About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
