I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We had to coat check the pizza.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize