: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
