have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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