Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just pee around me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize