I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
