You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
