that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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