Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
