one two three fourrrrnication!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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