Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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