Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
