3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
