Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
