Whod you bang
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
