I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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