She said her name was "party"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
