this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
