I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
