haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Shame - the story of my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize