i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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