physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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