Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
