i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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