I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
