This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
honey bunches of taint.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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