We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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