I seem to have left my pride at pride
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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