how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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