Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
