Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize