I wanna passion pit in your ass
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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