we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
