we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
