My room smells like vodka and shame
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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