Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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