my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
