Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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