Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Come on in and take your pants off
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