did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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