White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
