She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
