can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
