Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
