now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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