I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
