sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
