If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
