I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
