my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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