We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
