i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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