I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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