saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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