I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
