Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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