dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
