My room smells like vodka and shame
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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