We're facebook friends in real life
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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