I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
