i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So apparently I’m into choking now
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