So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
